Sisters

Dear Coach,

I love my little sister. But lately I've noticed that her life is everything I've ever wanted, and mine isn't. She has a wonderful husband and after 2 years of marriage they are still in the 'honeymoon' phase. She owns two of her own businesses, something I've only dreamed about. She is beautiful and skinny, assertive and strong. I could go on... It doesn't ever bother me that her life is my ideal when we are hanging out, so I haven't seen it affect our relationship. But I'm worried it might. It seems to bother me most when I am struggling with the things that are the opposite in my life. Is there something I can do so my jealously doesn't grow or continue to hurt me?

Signed, Growing Increasingly Jealous


Dear Friend,

You can’t always control your emotions nor predict when they might pop up. At this point it’s a positive sign you’re aware of your jealousy. Try to remember that you’re wonderful and talented. You have many great qualities that make you who you are. It’s very possible that as perfect as her life seems there are reasons she might even be jealous of you. Also, her life might not be as happy and perfect as it seems. If you let your jealousy grow you won’t be able to be there for her when something bad happens. A business could fail or she could have marital problems. If you’re caught up in the comparisons you won’t be able to support her and help her through it.

It appears to me also that your jealousy might stem from some insecurities of your own. Work towards finding those things in life that fulfill you and give you pride. The better you feel about yourself the less you’ll have reason to compare yourself to her. Cherish your sister and be grateful for the relationship you have. Jealousy will pop up at times, but try to remember what is most important in your life.

Much love,
Your Coach