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Monday, May 17, 2010

Difficult Boss

Dear Coach,

I am fairly new to my job and I have trouble relating to my boss. They are pretty hot-headed at times, especially when I missed something or something isn't going as they had planned. There are times when we are able to joke about things together, but most of the time I feel timid about talking to them about anything. This creates two problems: 1) I never feel like I can talk to them about anything, including job related things and 2) whenever something bad happens I feel I need to cover it up so that they don't yell at me. I really don't want to be working for this person for too much longer, and I plan to find something new after I've been here long enough to say "I'm moving on." But what do I do until then to make things go more smoothly for both of us?

Thanks in advance,

Dumped On

Dear Friend,

It sounds like you're kind of getting beaten around at your office. When you're continually beaten down it can cause a loss in self-esteem. My first recommendation would be to find away inside or outside of work to reclaim that confidence. The better you feel about yourself and that you're doing the best job possible then the less likely you are to take things personally. Another way of dealing with the abusive treatment is to develop a tough skin where you don't even let the negative in so it can't impact you. Of course that is easier said than done, but you have to choose if you want to even acknowledge how your boss is treating you.

Another thing to note is that you said you're just waiting for a short while longer until you can leave. If this is less than a year then just remember it's only temporary. This is a stepping stone in your career. Anyone can do anything for a short time. Imagine this as your attempt to walk on coals. If you just stay focused on the end then it won't hurt too much at all. However, if you have a longer time frame or the situation becomes worse then I suggest you speaking to your boss' boss or to the HR department. They should be able to speak to your boss and tone down the situation.

Of course, if it's a mild situation then the best approach to this is to just sit down and speak to your boss. Let them know how you're feeling and that you really are trying your best. It's likely your boss is under a lot of pressure and doesn't even realize that they're putting that on you. A lot more can be solved through open communication than silent suffering.

Just do your best and be confident in the work you're doing.

Much Love,
Your Coach

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