Suspended Child

Dear Coach,

My child got suspended from school today, he said because he was defending his bother from a group of kids who jump on him. I ask my other son and his also back-up the story. I just want to say that my son is very clam mellow child and has never gotten in trouble before. My question is on one hand I do not want punish him for standing up for his brother but on the other hand I do not want to give him the idea that it is ok to get suspended from school. Coach how do I handle this matter?

Thank You

Dear Friend,

This is a very delicate situation. I remember being in school and thinking that suspension was just a forced vacation. How could that be bad? You don't want to punish him for standing up for his brother, but he needs to know that suspension is not a good thing. As a parent this will take more effort on your part, but hopefully it will prevent him from getting into more suspensions. First, have an honest talk with him about what he did that was right (standing up for his brother) and what he did that wasn't right (fighting or whatever behavior that caused the suspension). Talk about how to handle this situation in the future to do what is right, but not to be violent or do those things that will lead to suspensions.

During his suspension you have to take away the vacation element. He should still be waking up at the same time and going to bed at the same usual time. When he would normally be at school he should be doing his school work so he doesn't get behind. If he has completed all of his school work for a given day then he can read the appropriate chapters in his texts books or do additional problems that weren't originally assigned by the teacher. If there is no more school work to do I would suggest taking him to the library to find a book to read. Absolutely no TV or video games during the day. If you're doing work around the house then he can help with that too.

If he normally consumes a lot of violent TV, movies or video games then put an end to that for a time. Take away that negative influence so he can see that it's not acceptable in your home. All of this doesn't have to be a punishment on top of the suspension, but it shouldn't be a vacation either.

Much Love,
Your Coach