Micro Managing Boss

Dear Coach,

I met my current boss about ten years ago (I was 15) when I started volunteering for a few programs she ran. Over the years I have worked for her in a variety of positions, eventually working my way up to managing one of the programs she oversees. While she clearly trusts me enough to put me in this position, I feel like she still sees me as the uneducated, naive 15 year old she used to know. She micromanages every little thing that I do and power struggles with me over every decision I make. How do I properly approach her about this? Or should it not be brought up?

From, Micromanaged

Dear friend,

I would say take it as a compliment that she trusts you so much. Even if her day-to-day actions don't show that she appreciates you then know that her level of trust in you does show that. If you have this great working relationship then I totally suggest talking to her about it. Perhaps it's in her personality to micromanage everyone and you'll just have to get used to it, but if it's bothering you or hurting your feelings then it's time to say something. Here are some tips to help this go over smoothly and productively with her.

• Don't do it when you're really ticked off with her. Wait until a neutral time presents itself to speak with her about it. Or take her out to lunch to have some private peaceful time to bring up the issue.
• Stay on topic. If necessary write down some bullet points of the issue so you don't get distracted by the emotions likely to come up for you or her.
• Explain your feelings. Don't blame this on her, but let her know how you feel when she does certain things. Use the word "I" and not "You" to explain the situation.
• Provide Examples. You might need to prepare a few examples of the things that bother you so she'll be able to recall the behaviors. She might not even know she does it, so if you give her specific examples then she'll be able to understand what it is that you'd like her to fix.
• End on a positive note of what is working. Let her know that you appreciate her trust in you.

Just know that this conversation might make things a bit awkward for a little while, but as you continue to work together things should smooth out. Good luck!

Much love,
your coach